Saturday, March 14, 2015

Evaluate 1.1.2 Quality Feedback Forum

Here is an example of a student draft of a reaction to an article, and my 18 comments upon it.

Student Name

English 1101

March 3, 2015[CG1] 


Rhetoric Analysis of “Anime Addiction: Its causes and effects”
Responding to an article[CG2] 

The Japanese culture has had its history of impacting America in many ways in the past. However, when it came to the works of animation, or “Anime” it caught on very quickly. In the articale[CG3]  “Anime Addiction”, the author believes that the “Anime craze” of the young population has become somewhat of an obsession; that being the case, it is argued that the behavior of students is linked to this epidemic. So why do kids so easily get into this form of entertainment? This[CG4]  author believes it is due to the inspirations that come from Anime, an expert claims[CG5] ; “It is just a lack of imagination or creative thinking, so  students tend to watch anime more  often and surf the internet to read online manga”. Many teenagers, and fellow “Geeks” may also presue[CG6]  an interest in drawing, and animation, therefore this article might have some oppositions that might see a brighter side to the so-called “Addiction problem[CG7] ”.
This[CG8]  author uses Logos to explain how, some people with the Anime obsession will likely bring about behavioral issues in students, For example[CG9] ; too much exsposure[CG10]  to Anime can lead kids to act out childishly to life, and lose sense of reality, therefore kids should develop better self-control[CG11] . The sense[CG12]  of Pathos comes from using “Let’s tackle the negetive[CG13]  effect” when the transitioned from the positive out look on Anime, and then had to talk about the bad influences that could come form it, indicating that the author is not totally against Anime. This also serves as a form of Ethos. This person might have even had a person connection to the situation of this article.
Personally[CG14] , I have been a “Victim”, of the addiction. I too have experienced both the positive and negetive influence; in fact I am still experiencing it. I started getting into “Inuyasha” when I was in elementary school, the moving forward it was “Naruto” then “Black Butler”. Now, I’m in the “withdrawl” stage and I don’t watch it as much I did before, [CG15] however I still like to watch it from time to time. I draw manga based charaters too.
The[CG16]  craze of Anime is both good and bad for young people. The big picture of it all; is that it al depends on how kids choose to deal with it. Once a student hits high school, they’re practically old enough to make their own decisions. They must find a way to balance the negetivity[CG17]  of the “Obsession” and with reality and figure out how to fit it into their lives without letting it take control of it. If the parents have to get involved, then they should as long as there are satisfying results; no excuses that it’s too hard, or that it’s just a phase, if your child’s grades and life are being determined by a craze, do something as soon as possible[CG18] .

Work Cited
“Anime Addiction.”Kimberly Cejoco. July 14, 2013[CG19] .


 [CG1]Make sure that all of the necessary elements are in the header. 
 [CG2]Double space.
 [CG3]Spelling mistake. 
 [CG4]Try to take out rhetorical questions. 
 [CG5]Good use of textual support here. 
 [CG6]Misspelled.  
 [CG7]Try to include a thesis that follows the template more clearly. 
 [CG8]What is the focus of this paragraph?  Remember to include a specific topic sentence that will guide the reader. 
 [CG9]Comma after example.
 [CG10]Spelling mistake. 
 [CG11]Do you have any textual support or evidence to show that this is logos? 
 [CG12]Try to do one paragraph for each of these terms. 
 [CG13]There are a lot of simple spelling errors throughout this essay.
 [CG14]Indent. 
 [CG15]This would fit in the conclusion rather than body of the paper. 
 [CG16]Indent.
 [CG17]Remember to check your spelling.
 [CG18]This last paragraph should focus upon the application to your upcoming research paper.  Also there are a lot of misspelled words.
 [CG19]Remember that for a citation it should go a separate page and include the full citation.

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